Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
