So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she smelled like a LAN party
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
