ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
