she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Someone stole a lamp last night.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
