Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
