Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
