I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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