the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
