if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
