i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
