this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
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SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
there is glitter all over my balls
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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