I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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