Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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