AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
