I hope mine doesn't look like that
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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