i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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