We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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