I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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