Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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