Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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