i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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