I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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