Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
