you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
