I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
