Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Mom said you looked used
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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