it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
