I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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