Got a toothbrush?
this beer tastes like vomit already
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
