Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
