idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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