i just wanna soil my oats bro
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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