Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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