you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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