i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize