Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm bleeding and have questions
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
