theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
