Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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