The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize