hotel room ftw
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
