Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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