Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I need to stop coming to work sober
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No...this little piggys going to the bar
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
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