too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
