Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
