he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
