You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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