I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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