There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
