It's like a parade of train wrecks.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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