My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
