So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
