Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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