Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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