thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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