i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
