Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
