I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
