I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
