the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
