Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
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It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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