making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
