"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
