There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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