Define "chronic" masturbator.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
