last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
