im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
